Our Fertility Journey Update

Hello again!

I know, I know…it’s been 1 year and 3 months since my last blog post. HOW did that even happen (or not happen, lol). Regardless, I am back and excited to talk about what the heck has been going on since I last wrote…

So in my last post, I had mentioned seeing a new OB GYN Doctor and hoping for the best. Well, to be real, the last 6 months of 2020 put me in a spiral of disappointment until I eventually hit what I will call my “rock bottom”…more on that later. I thought about making this into separate blog posts, but I figure I will just break it up into different parts. I’ll try to be short and sweet, but there is a LOT to cover, so if you are interested, keep on reading! 🙂

Part 1- Our first IVF Doctor Experience

We will start from my last post which was July 2020. From July to October of 2020, we had zero success conceiving. This now put us at 1.5 years of trying, 1 ectopic pregnancy, and not getting pregnant after that. I was beyond frustrated and knew I needed to take the next step.

• 

Finally, I got the guts to make an appointment with a Fertility clinic. I guess I always thought this immediately meant I needed to do IVF which actually wasn’t the case…

On October 7th, 2020 we had our first appointment…

The IVF clinic I went to was awesome. I loved the Doctors and everyone was super supportive.

From that moment on, the rollercoaster began…

The initial protocol is doing a whole bunch of tests for both of us. We both did a ton of bloodwork(mine was obviously more to test all my hormones). Besides a massive amount of bloodwork and genetic testing, I had to do a few extra tests..

• SIS-

“Saline infusion sonohysterography (SIS or SHG) is a procedure to evaluate the uterus and the shape of the uterine cavity. SHG uses ultrasound and sterile fluid to show the uterus and endometrial (uterine lining) cavity. The ovaries are also seen at the time of SHG. The purpose is to detect any abnormalities.”

• HSG-

“Hysterosalpingography (HSG) is an X-ray procedure that is used to view the inside of the uterus and fallopian tubes. It often is used to see if the fallopian tubes are partly or fully blocked. It also can show if the inside of the uterus is of a normal size and shape.”

Both of these tests were super easy and not painful (thankfully). I read horror stories about the HSG, but I ended up just fine.

The best news was that even after my ectopic, my fallopian tubes were clear!

After a few weeks of testing, everything came back ‘Normal’. There was nothing visibly wrong as to why we weren’t conceiving. While of course this is GREAT news, “Unexplained Infertility” is not a diagnosis anyone wants…

Our next step was to do a medicated IUI cycle. This is basically the baby step to IVF and is typically what Fertility Doctors try first…

IUI-“Intrauterine insemination (IUI) is the placing of sperm into a woman’s uterus when she is ovulating. “

The first step was getting Bloodwork to check my hormone levels on Day 3 of my cycle which was December 9th, 2020. I was also given Clomid to help with egg production. Looking back, even though this drug works for many people, it definitely made me feel so emotional and just blah, but it is part of the process so I just rolled with it. Next time, I would probably switch to another option.

A few days later, I went back to the Doctor to check follicle sizes to determine if we could proceed with the IUI. I had a few follicles and the Doctor determined we were good to go. Yay!

Next was the Trigger Shot. Thank goodness for Will because I am not sure I could have stabbed myself with a needle on my own. The instructions for this was I needed to administer once I got the positive sign on my Ovulation test. This was done on December 21st, 2020.

On December 23rd, 2020, I went in with all the prayers, fingers crossed, and good vibes.

I did my first IUI. I was so hopeful. All the numbers were great on paper. I thought to myself, “how could this not work?” The statistics for an IUI working the first time are unfortunately pretty low, but I still had hope.

I did ALL the things. Apparently eating fries after IVF (not IUI) is the true Good luck charm, but hey, every little bit helps.

Enter the dreaded 2 week wait…thankfully it was Christmas and I was pretty distracted, but it was around this time that I just wasn’t myself. Physically, I felt so fatigued, my body ached, and I just was over everything in the year of 2020. I had so many weird symptoms following the medicines I had to take, and add stress on top of it…not a good mix.

Around December 28th, I was 5 days past ovulation. My progesterone level was at 11 which wasn’t bad, but they still wanted me to supplement.

The worst part of this journey was taking pregnancy tests. I told myself that I wouldn’t take them because the trigger shot actually gives positive tests because it’s HCG, so it really messes with you. Did I listen to my own advice? Of course not….The “testing out the trigger” was the worst idea, because I was constantly obsessing…is it the trigger or am I pregnant?

Day 12 past ovulation(DPO), I went to get bloodwork done to test HCG. I was so unsure because I was getting positive tests, but the lines were faint so I really didn’t have hope.

I got a call from the Doctor’s office a few hours later…

“Danielle, I am sorry but the IUI was not successful, there was no HCG detected in the bloodwork.”

I sank. I cried. I honestly felt SO defeated. At this point, January 4th, 2021, we had officially been trying for 1 year and 10 months. It didn’t seem like a long time, but it felt like an eternity. All of my friends that knew wanted me to “Keep trying..”, “Do another IUI..”. In my heart, I knew I needed a break from it all.

My Doctor called me later that day and basically just said my AMH levels are a little low for my age, but she wanted to do another cycle since the success rate is higher with additional IUIs. I just said to her, “I think I need to take a break for now”…she was totally understanding. What I thought was going to be a 1-2 month break, ended up being much longer…

Part 2- Getting My Health Back

Welcome to 2021. A New Year, a New Me- cliché as hell, but this was more true than ever this year. After our failed IUI, I decided to truly “Take a Break” from ALL things fertility. I had no more ovulation tests, no more Doctors or follow ups, and I just truly wanted to focus on my health and feeling better.

As I mentioned earlier, I was struggling on the daily. I couldn’t workout the same. I felt like my body was failing me. I went to my regular Doctor who thought I was “Depressed”. At the time, I scoffed at that thinking…I didn’t feel “unhappy” persay, but looking back, she definitely had a point. I even got to the point where I saw a neurologist to make sure I didn’t have any auto-immune issues. Thankfully, I didn’t. I was grasping at straws for answers that no one had, but I wasn’t giving up…

My focus changed from getting pregnant to getting my life back. I felt like between the year of Covid and infertility drugs, it sent my life into a turmoil and I truly hit my version of ‘rock bottom’. I didn’t know what it was like to struggle this way- being tired all the time and losing motivation for things. I didn’t let it get bad enough to where I was laying in bed all day, I just got to the point where I would take naps when I could. However, I still feel like there was more I could do. I did see a therapist for a few sessions which did help me get out of my own head. OH, and I got a puppy and became a Dog mom again. I felt that she was also part of my transformation to a better me. 🙂

I also went to get reacquainted with my health coach that I went to for Body Composition scans for me and to also help me structure my macros. I had been seeing her on and off since 2018, so it was good to get a plan together again. While I was there, I shared my story and the struggles of what I was dealing with. She referred me to her friend and Functional Medicine PA who ran a practice called, “Radiant Health”. Functional Medicine has always intrigued me, so I decided to schedule a discovery call. After that call, I felt in my heart this seemed like the right path.

On March 3rd, I had my first appointment. I met with Kate, who was amazing from the start. We did a TON of bloodwork and the thing about a Functional Medicine practice is they will do tests that regular Doctors won’t do. Instead of just treating symptoms, they actually find the reasons WHY you are having the symptoms. This was truly eye opening. In short, my body was completely out of whack from most likely…STRESS. My cortisol levels were super low, I was low on certain vitamins, and it was just evident I needed a life change.

The first few months it was a lot to keep up with. I had a ton of supplements added to my routine that I wasn’t used to, I was changing my diet and eliminating Gluten and Dairy, all while trying to “feel better”.

I had 2 goals when I met with Kate..

1-Feeling my Best possible Self

2-Preparing my body to conceive naturally.

For number 1, I added supplements she recommended, controlled stress levels, and put myself and health first. It wasn’t immediate, but I started to see a difference in a few short months.

We had a few follow ups where we changed some things according to tests. In addition to bloodwork, I did multiple hormone tests, vitamin evaluation tests, and gut tests. I literally know EVERYTHING about my body now. It is awesome!

In August, I was sure I would get the green light to move to Trying to conceive(TTC) again; but, we had a bit more work to do. Without geeking out too much on the specifics, my body needed methylation support, so adding B12 was critical. There are a ton of studies about low B vitamins and miscarriages, so if anything, this was going to help. I also started ALA and NAC- these 2 supplements are known to help with egg quality. In the book, “It Starts with the Egg”, these are also part of the suggested supplement list.

My follow-up with Kate was today. Reviewing the results today, it was bittersweet knowing this would probably be my last consult with Kate on this journey. As it turns out, all of the supplements we’ve been doing had a really positive effect on my vitamin levels and overall health. Just to highlight a few things:

• My Luteal phase extended 2 days– From 6 to 8 days. It is still on the short side, but hoping we can get it to at least 10. (This has been my issue since the beginning, and in my opinion, could be a big reason I haven’t conceived)
• My AMH level(ovarian reserve) went from 0.94 to 1.43. Definitely an improvement!
• My B12 and B9 levels are normal, and my need for methylation support has improved so much.

Besides what is on paper, I feel better than I have felt in a LONG time…fatigue and joint pain are gone, I am HAPPY, and although I still stress over the little things, I am doing a better job of controlling it.

Once a worry wart, always a worry wart..it’s just all about having the right tools to control it;).

Part 3- A New Beginning(Again)

So here we are again. The start of yet another new beginning. 2 years and 7 months to the day into this journey...

The planner in me had me on my second child by now, but we all know life always has other plans. I have so many friends that have had babies in the last few years, and I have been to more baby showers this year than I can count. People always ask me if it is hard for me to see that knowing it is easy for some. Trust me, it is more than difficult, but I always know that my joy for others will help me in the long run.

I know in my heart I am meant to be a mom. It’s hard to explain, but I know. That is a big reason why I haven’t given up. I have thought about IF it never happens, and I have come to terms with that, but whenever I think about it, a voice inside my heart says it will happen...

Even though I am 35 next year (this was always looked at as SUPER old to have a child), I believe that I am right where I need to be. If we would have had a baby 2.5 years ago, so many things that have happened over that time wouldn’t have happened. Life would be completely different. That is why it is important to trust your journey and have faith.

So what now? We will be having FUN, enjoying the holidays, and just living life. If we decide in 2022 to revisit IVF, the option is always there which I am comfortable with. I am no longer in a rush, putting an internal deadline, or worrying about my “biological clock”. I joke with my friends that we will be the old parents, but it’s all good.

I know we will bring a baby into the world one day.

As always, Thanks for listening and all the support.

<3,

D