A New Beginning.

It’s been 5 months since my ectopic pregnancy. I’ve been asked many times how I handled it so well, and was I sure if I was “ready” to try again….

I think everyone handles grief and loss differently. If you know me, I pretty much stay positive 98% of the time. This isn’t because I am ignorant or not a realist, its just that I always choose to look at the silver lining above the negativity. With that being said, I am definitely an anxious person and my brain always goes to the worst case scenarios and the series of what ifs..

“What if I have another ectopic?”

“What if I never get pregnant?”

“What if I have a miscarriage?”

“I find myself thinking that maybe it isn’t in the cards for me, but then I remember that I truly feel like being a mom is part of my life journey. Deep down I really feel like it will happen, it’s just not the right time.”

I am calling this the “2nd half of my TTC journey”, a new beginning. I made some mental & physical lifestyle changes while continuing to be my own health advocate….

I changed my OB-GYN. I decided that it wouldn’t hurt to get a different perspective on my situation. I was a patient at my previous Doctor for about 20 years, so this was a huge step. In my first consultation, I immediately felt a relief that I had clicked with this Doctor and I made the right choice. Our first step is hormonal bloodwork to rule out PCOS or any other hormonal issues. The last thing she said was “We are going to get you pregnant!”. I am already feeling more hopeful.

I read the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”. Honestly, this was THE BEST book. I was familiar with some of the material in it, but there was so much to learn and I HIGHLY recommend it to any woman, even if you are not trying to get pregnant. It taught me more about my body than any health class ever did.

I’m down 6lbs & working out 4-5 days a week consistently. I’ve always done a decent job at maintaining my weight, but I was stuck in the same weight for years. I finally focused during quarantine and reduced my calorie intake, and I am seeing progress again. I am still working toward my goal, but I am feeling great so far. I know being in optimal health is important for many reasons, but it is even more important on this fertility journey.

I’m trusting God and remaining hopeful. I could eat perfect, time everything accurately, do all the right things, and STILL not get pregnant. It’s hard to see and hear stories of friends or family where it just takes one time and they ‘weren’t even trying..’. However, there are many others that have struggled just like us, and I sometimes find comfort in knowing we are not alone.

So here’s to a new chapter.

Here is to remaining strong and hopeful.

Here’s to just enjoying life with my other half.

I know one day we will look back and remember the harder days, but I am confident one day it will all be worth it.

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