My Ectopic Pregnancy Story

“When are you going to have a baby?” …the question everyone asks the moment you get married…amIright? Since I am such an extensive planner, I already knew when I wanted to start trying for a baby. I wanted to enjoy my first year as a wife with my new husband as just the two of us.

Once we hit our 1 year anniversary, it was almost instantaneous that I wanted to be a mom. Not that you are ever ready, but in my head I was more prepared than ever before. My Doctor advised that I start prenatal vitamins, and she shared that most couples will take an average of 12 months to conceive naturally. In my head I thought, “12 months? Psh. It’ll never take that long…”

“Infertility is not for the weak…“

I jumped on every Fertility forum and Facebook group with all of the other women who shared the same “TTC” Journey. TTC= Trying to Conceive. I actually had to google the majority of terms being posted throughout the group. The #babymaking journey definitely has a language of its own.

Unfortunately, pregnancy didn’t come easily for me. Month after month of trying, I would get another negative test. It is not something people really talk about. It was so hard to focus, when every little twinge or pain in my ovary in the dreaded “Two Week Wait” felt like it could be a possible pregnancy symptom. A few days later, that glimmer of hope disappeared when AF (Aunt Flo) made her appearance.

“What are we doing wrong?” I would ask this every month.

We would time everything super perfectly. I took my temperature every morning and peed on more sticks than I can count to see my “peak” ovulation. We did everything “by the book”, but honestly, I soon realized, this was out of my control.

“Well maybe it’ll be this month…. I REALLY feel like it’s our month…“

9 months past and I’m frustrated. “Well maybe we should just “not try”, that’s what all the TTC boards say..” I tell myself, trying to figure out what that really means at the same time.

Fast forward to our 11th cycle of TTC. It was a New Year. I didn’t get my baby in 2019 like I had hoped. I was SURE 2020 would be better. I had multiple things in the universe pointing to “this is our month”.

The color at my nail salon I inadvertently chose was titled “It’s a Boy”.

My husband and I both got 2 double yolk eggs in a week from 2 different cartons, and apparently that is supposed to mean pregnancy.

I felt in my soul this could be IT.

January 24th, I got what I thought was my period. I was devastated. I immediately started thinking I needed to start looking into a fertility specialist because if we missed the next cycle, we were passed the recommended time to get pregnant and it was time to look at next steps. I tried to brush it off like I did every month, and I kept moving forward. Something was a bit off this month though…

On January 29th, I came home from kickboxing class and just thought to myself, why am I still spotting a few days later? Something inside me said-“Take a pregnancy test”. I came home and told my husband, he says “Danielle, not everything means you’re pregnant”. Just to put it into perspective, he deals with my constant symptom spotting every month during the “Two week wait”, so I get he was a bit dismissive. Ignoring him, I took one of my cheap tests anyway….

There was the faintest second line on my cheap HCG Test.

I felt like it was a fluke. I ran to show Will. I took a First Response test immediately after, and there was also a faint line. Could it be possible?

The next day I took a digital test and it actually showed negative. I felt maybe it was a bit early. I decided to call my Doctor and they asked me to do a blood test to confirm. 

On Friday, January 29th, my HCG bloodwork was 47. Anything over 25 is considered a POSITIVE pregnancy test.

On February 1st, I got multiple positive tests. I didn’t know how many I needed to convince me, but it just didn’t feel real..

I decided to tell our close family that day, even with the caveat that it was “super early”. We were all excited, but in my heart(call it intuition if you will), I was still cautiously optimistic and something felt “off”. 

The following Monday the Doctor still wanted me to continue bloodwork to make sure it was increasing. The bloodwork came back with my HCG at 121. It was increasing, but the numbers were still a little low. At this point, I was around 4 weeks pregnant. My Doctor wanted one more blood draw.

That Monday, February 3rd, I actually had definite pregnancy symptoms: Nausea and food aversions. It hit me out of nowhere. Maybe it was in my head or it was the fluctuating hormones due to how early was, but still, I just felt “blah”.

On Thursday, Feb 6th, the bloodwork for my HCG levels came back at 84. The levels were dropping. The nurse informed me this is typically an indication of a miscarriage.

They wanted me to continue to follow up with bloodwork until my levels went to zero. On Tuesday, February 11th, I did another blood test in the office. I was devastated but stayed positive, and I set out to move forward. I found comfort in knowing miscarriages are common especially in the first 4 weeks, and that chances of me having a baby in the future were still good. The close friends and family I did tell we had to let them know the news. It was heartbreaking for all.

At this point, I didn’t really “feel pregnant”. As far as symptoms go, the bleeding was still very light. I thankfully had no pain. I thought, I’ll get through this and we can try again soon. The chances of conceiving after a miscarriage are sometimes higher! I looked forward to the future; however, there was one thing that was bothering me. My pregnancy tests were showing dark lines and getting somewhat darker..

I was confused. I had read some things online saying the HCG can stay leftover for a while. Someone even mentioned a possible vanishing twin. I thought, well, maybe I’ll have a different outcome? Maybe the Doctors were wrong? I guess you could say it was something like that…

On Wednesday February 12th, I was at work and had a ton of important meetings lined up for the day. In the middle of one, the nurse at my Doctor’s office called me.

“Danielle, the HCG levels increased to 337, and we need you to come in for an ultrasound immediately.”

“We believe you may be at risk for an Ectopic pregnancy. “

I rushed out of work and head there immediately. I arrive at the Doctor thinking, what does this even mean? I had heard about ectopic pregnancies but knew they were pretty rare.

The estimated rate of ectopic pregnancy in the general population is 1 to 2% .

NCBI-https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/

All things considered, I was actually pretty calm.

I got there and immediately did an ultrasound. After about 45 minutes, the tech confirms that my uterus is empty. However, there is a 3.7cm mass on the side near my ovary, as well as an ovarian cyst. The Ultrasound tech tells me it is most likely an ectopic pregnancy. My Doctor comes in to talk to me and is struggling to decide to do surgery vs. medication because of the size of the mass. I am sitting here just trying to process it all as everything is happening so fast. Typically if the mass is over 3.5cm, they do emergency surgery and have to remove the fallopian tube. I was in no pain and I was stable, so she suggested trying the methotrexate first (metho-what?) . Methotrexate is actually a drug used for chemotherapy patients, but the dosage is obviously much less for an ectopic and it works to stop the cell formation and prevent internal tube rupture. With all that being said, it is typically administered in the ER. I start to process the fact that if I don’t get this taken care of immediately, my tube could rupture and I could die from internal bleeding. HOLY SHI*.

Now…. I’m a little nervous. Hospitals make me nervous anyway. I hate taking any medications. I start thinking all worst case scenarios, and of course I kept wondering, “how the heck did this happen?”

I made it to the ER and they repeated all the same tests. I had a ton of bloodwork and multiple ultrasounds. The results were the same, but my HCG was now actually 508, so it was continuing to increase which means the mass was growing. This was not a good scenario.

All the Doctors reiterated that although ectopic was not 100% clear on the scans(possibly because I was too early), this was never going to be a viable pregnancy and the risk of an ectopic tube rupture was very high.

6 hours later, they administered methotrexate. They have to monitor you for 1 hour after before you can be released. My mom was with me through the process, and my husband came after he got off work. At least I didn’t have to face all of this alone…

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Once I was released from the hospital, I was a bit tired and crampy as expected, but overall I was ok. From this point, the follow ups with my Doctor were constant. Making sure the HCG is decreasing is key to making sure my body is doing what it is supposed to do, and it was to verify the medicine was working.

The next day I saw my Doctor. Everything was off limits at this point and I was basically on a “watch”, because if you still have a positive HCG blood test, you can still rupture with an ectopic. She made sure all plans I had within the next few weeks were a “raincheck”, especially since the next day was Valentine’s Day and Will’s Birthday. I suppose when life happens, the timing of it is never in our control.

On Valentine’s Day, it was time for another ultrasound to check on progress. The mass had shrunk from 3.5inches to 2.7 inches. This was fantastic news. Besides feeling extremely fatigued I was doing ok. The next day, I went to get more bloodwork. It came back at 162, which meant the medicine worked. I started to feel a sense of relief…

The following week I had multiple Doctor follow ups and bloodwork. The bloodwork came back at 35 on 2/18, and I started to feel like I was almost in the clear, but still remained cautious. At this point, I was still taking the cheap pregnancy tests and they were getting lighter. I finally reached a completely negative pregnancy test on 2/29. It’s surreal to want your test negative after wanting a positive for so long….

On March 2nd, 2020 I had my final doctor appointment:

The Ultrasound showed no mass or cyst and my HCG was negative. It was officially over.

The 5 week journey of my ectopic had tested my strength in so many ways, but because I’m who I am, I remained optimistic, vigilant, accepting, and calm throughout the process and for that I thank God for giving me that strength.

I also have the greatest support system in the world with my amazing family and friends. My husband was my true rock throughout all of this and of course, he was hurting through all of this too.

Moving forward from this was never easy, but I tend to be more of an optimistic person. The positive? I know I can get pregnant now, I just hope next time the egg decides to go into the right place. 🙂

As much as this was a devastating loss, it taught me that trying to plan every detail of your life doesn’t always work out. I could have never guessed this would happen in a million years. If it was up to me, I would have definitely had a baby already…but that’s the fun part about life right? You have to enjoy the ride…the highs, the lows, and the miracles.

Here’s to our future and our future rainbow baby. We are ready when you are. 😉